by Andrea Learned

I just read (in Dan Pink’s* blog) mention of some UK research that found that no matter how similarly “smart” men and women may actually be - it often boils down to a matter of confidence. It may be no surprise that the men in the study seemed more confident in feeling smart than did the women…

Anyway -

I had been thinking of this whole “authority” topic recently after a conversation with a financial industry reporter, which had then reminded me of how my grandmother’s generational difference in her attitude toward men went to the extreme in her very late years.

It’s worth thinking about just who is considered an “authority” for any one person, on any particular topic, especially for marketers hoping to influence those that influence the buyers of their brands. For example, and in the case of traditionally male-dominated realms such as finance or healthcare, women in their older years (say 70+) may be long-since in the habit of deferring to “the man” on the topic.

These days there seems to be a significant generational difference in confidence levels and who is considered an “authority.” Those aforementioned 70+ year old women who are seeking financial advice today may prefer the care and expertise of a man, just because that is their frame of reference. Such women saw their grandmothers defer to men, and they saw their moms defer to their dad. They also watched as the women before them took everything a male doctor said as if it were coming from a bible.

But things are very different for women my age (tail end of Baby Boom) and younger.
We grew up watching our moms, aunts and female bosses take charge and exude confidence in many of their decisions. We live in a time where an air of “authority” is harder for a professional to establish or maintain, no matter how many years he went to school or how much she is paid. Modern-day consumers seem to like to “balance” out their conversations with doctors or financial advisors of both genders, for instance, with their own online research (which may be for the good or bad). Boomer age and younger women seem that much more inclined, and comfortable, ignoring traditional authority figures and going it on their own.

If that UK study was conducted again five years and ten years from now, I bet the confidence level of men and women would start to reflect as much parity as the “smartness levels” already do.

But, back to my grandmother for a minute. As so often happens when people get quite elderly, my mom acted as my grandmother’s caretaker in her later years. Just as my mom was putting so much time and attention toward managing her mother’s health and financial matters, my grandmother seemed to be reverting in her mind to the old days, where the men in the house were the be-all and end-all. (This, interestingly, even as my grandmother’s mom died very young and she - my grandmother - had basically run the household for her dad and siblings from the age of thirteen). My father, who she’d had a good relationship with before, but who was never someone my grandmother idolized, became this all-knowing authority. That he is a physician didn’t seem to be the trigger, so much as that he was the man who went to work all day and then came home to be cared for by the women in his life.
I remember getting really angry for my mom’s sake (she seemed to shrug it off pretty easily), but I did realize it was grandmother’s aging brain doing its thing. As I now do this work in exploring gender relations, and very clearly see how personal patterns and habits can so influence the business dealings of humans, it all comes rushing back.

What I am discovering is that there can be no judgment of men versus women on such things. Rather, it feels like a call to be more aware of our own biases and cultural ways, and to understand how those things may cloud our interactions and self-regard. Who and what each of us, whether male or female, see as an “authority” will continue to change.
A significant shift in gender relations has certainly begun, and parity will come, but it will take decades, if not centuries, for the culture as a whole to get comfortable in that new dynamic.

*Dan Pink is the author of one of the books I most recommend to friends, clients, speaking audiences, and you - my blog readers: A Whole New Mind. Read it and raise your awareness.

consumer power, empowered consumer, gender stereotypes, women and confidence

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